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Have you ever felt at a loss on how to support someone (including their loved ones) who is facing death or illness?

Callanan and Kelley offer this wonderful advice for those that wish to support those facing death or illness in their book Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying:

Not long before her death, Jean wrote, "When the friend who was my main caregiver had to be away for a few days, people told her if I needed anything I was to call them. Several told me so personally. But only one person made a specific offer.

" 'I know you go to church when you're able to,' she said. 'I'd like to take you on Sunday. I'll be over for you at ten. Don't worry if you decide at the last minute that you can't make it. It won't inconvenience me at all.'

"That call was a real relief," Jean wrote. "I can't take everyone up on casual offers that require me to ask for help, but I really appreciate it when someone suggests something they can do and does it!"

If you want to help with practical chores, offer specifically rather than generally. Don't say, "Call me if I can do anything" or "Let me know if I can help." Not only are dying people too overwhelmed to make lists of tasks for someone else to do, they may not know what needs doing, or may wonder if you're simply being polite. Instead, offer something concrete. "I know you enjoy music," you could tell a friend. "May I bring over some CDs or tapes tomorrow?"

Offer to do the grocery shopping. Propose to vacuum or dust the house. Always give the sick person the option of canceling at the last minute. And by adding, "If that's not what you want, tell me what else I can do," you ease the way for the person to make a request.

Counseling Can Help

Grief counseling can help the sick and dying and their loved ones cope with the devastating changes that are now impacting their lives.

It's time to heal...

Please contact Suzanne at (720) 443-1480 or email me to schedule an appointment.

 

Coping skills are important tools in the treatment of trauma as well as for the coping with everyday stress and frustration.   You can use them to prepare for difficult conversations or to adjust to life's difficulties and transitions.

How to Use Coping Skills

Its important to have plenty of different tools to emotionally cope with life.  Just like the maintenance of a home, some problems need different tools (hammer vs. screwdriver) than other problems.  Some days the same problem needs a different tool (drill) than the day before (screw driver).  If one tool doesn’t work, try another.

The tool box below includes a list of skills  that you can use, depending on your goal in the moment.

List of Emotional Coping Skills

Counseling Can Help

Counseling can  be used along with the Coping Skills Tool Box to help you cope with the hardships that occur in life and to help you heal.

It's time to heal...

Please contact Suzanne at (720) 443-1480 or email me to schedule an appointment.